So let’s talk about this little sickness that pretty much kicked our ass last week. We don’t need to dwell on the actual sickness part, really, but what came out on the other side of our first major baby cold. Stephanie wrote this beautiful (and very raw) post about putting things in perspective.
Someone is feeling better, btw.
Now I’m well aware that this sickness wasn’t real sickness. It was a baby cold plus high fever and pretty much every baby is going to be hit with it as some point. But it was a first for me. And it was a first for my baby. Fynn caught it on a Tuesday and I think she felt the worst on Friday. Based on the fact that she was inconsolable for most of the day. She didn’t want to lay down. She didn’t want to sit. She didn’t want be cuddled. She wanted to be held until she didn’t. And then she would flail around like a wild animal caught in a trap. And during all of this time she screamed and cried and screamed some more. After 4 hours, the screaming had sliced through my nervous system and basically made me feel like I was being electrocuted. I was trying every trick I could think of but at one point I yelled. Yes, I yelled at my sick baby. “Fynnlee, you’re ok. Fynnleeeee. Fynnleeee, FYNNLEE!!! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!”. I yelled loud enough to scare her a bit because her teary eyes got really wide and then she stuck out her little bottom lip and whimpered. Poor thing. Here she is, feeling like hell, with all of this new stuff happening. She can’t breathe through her nose. She can’t use her bink. She has to take breaks every 5 seconds when she eats to breathe. She’s hot. She’s probably achy. And now her mother is yelling at her.
So then I cried for an hour because I felt so bad. But its funny how when you’re crying too, their crying is much more tolerable.
When you’re in the middle of it and it feels like all hell is breaking loose, it can seem like you’re never going to have another normal day. I was exhausted. More tired than I can remember being when they were little newborns. But here’s the thing (and why I’m happy I kept up with this little blog)…we had all of these long nights before. Many times. With all of the screaming and inconsolable babies and all of the “I’m never gonna sleep again!”. But we do. Everything is temporary and eventually straightens itself out. We may never get as much sleep as we did pre-beans, but I’ll take my baby snuggles over sleep any day. Although, I’d prefer to have both.
And now she’s feeling better. The fever is gone and she’s slept through the night a couple of nights. She’s breathing better and is back to being my happy, feisty, sweet girl. And I will forget all about this week of hell. Until the next time.
But no more yelling at the sick baby! Lesson learned.
Ok, back to my 21 lbs of squishy love. She was so happy to be back at school! So many fun holiday themed projects.
All that glitters! Oh yes, she loves the sparkle.
Happiness is a box full of candy canes and paint.
Gimme ALL the bows!
Tinsel is my favorite
She’s got her Frosty purse and is ready to shop!
Tomorrow we go meet Santa!! Ho Ho Ho Meerrrrrrrrry Christmas!